It took me a total of a half an hour to write and now I wanna know if I'm doing it right. ._____.
plz tell meh


Concrete Detail

1. “Over the years that we’ve been married, we’ve learned to sidestep the subject of my family, my duty. It was once the biggest source of our arguments. When we were first married, Phil used to say that I was driven by blind devotion to fear and guilt. I would counter that he was selfish, that the things one had to do in life sometimes had nothing to do with what was fun or convenient. And then he would say the only reason we had to go was that I had been manipulated into thinking I had no choice, and that I was doing the same thing to him.” (15)


Commentary

When I first read this passage, I immediately thought, “culture clash.” The reason this couple disagreed over family duties is that they were from different cultures that taught different things, the husband being American and the wife being of Chinese descent. I, as an Asian child raised in America, know both sides of arguments the couple have in this passage. Americans strongly emphasize the need to think for themselves and make their own decisions, whereas in many Asian cultures, what is right is what has been passed down through the generations. The two beliefs clash, and sometimes one can’t accept the other.

Because the story is told by the narrator, the wife, it sheds more light on her own beliefs than her husband’s, because she understands them better. She calls her family her “duty”, a word with a positive connotation suggesting loyalty and humbleness. Her words “nothing to do with ... fun or convenient” make her intentions seem noble, while she gives her husband’s opinions words with negative connotations, making it seem like she is the one being attacked and victimized, and in the end, right.

In addition, many Asian cultures teach their children great devotion to their parents. An example of this kind of child to parent devotion is in The Good Earth, by Pearl S. Buck, taking place in China. Throughout the hardships in the story, Wang Lung is always proud that he will be able to at least provide food for his aging father, and during the famine, his father is always the first to eat.

Since we were young, our parents have taught my brother and me that when we are old enough, we must provide for them and for any other family member who may need our help. Our mother would give us long lectures about how respecting our elders, especially family members, was extremely important. I grew with that somewhat blind respect for my aunts, uncles, and grandparents, upholding them with the utmost respect. The Korean side of me agrees when the narrator calls her husband selfish. The part of me that was raised in America with its free thinking morals, however, knows that, as the husband states, this is the result of fear and guilt of going against what I have been raised with all my life.